Week of January 5, 2026
Here’s a rundown of my week.
Landman
On the most recent Landman, Billy Bob Thornton tells his son he’ll meet him in 20 minutes then swings by a gentlemen’s club to hire a stripper to work as a physical therapist for his 82 year old father. Said stripper agrees to do such and arrives for a session wearing disco sandles and shorts that cover not much of anything. She makes the old man get into the pool with his clothes on then floats him around on his back while the folks inside eat hot dogs while wearing baseball clothing.
Random Book Quote
I turn to see Randy, unshaven and unkept, sitting on the ground between two sage bushes. He's holding a crumpled paper bag.
“Want some of this?” Randy asks.
He pulls a can of oven cleaner from the bag, shakes it, and sprays it into the bag. He closes the bag around his mouth and nose then breathes deeply. The bag inflates and deflates in quick succession.
“God damn, man,” I exclaim. “You’re huffing oven cleaner?”
Randy puts the can back in the bag and the bag in his lap.
“Not by itself. No,” Randy replies. “Using it as a chaser. I took some ayahuasca this morning.”
“Jesus man!” I respond in shock. “What does that combination do?”
Randy closes his eyes and holds stoic.
“Wonderful things,” he whispers. “Wonderful things.”
---- Tiger Tales from the Acuña Cartel by Gayne C. Young.
Bum Steers
My mother used to say of all the insanity that is Texas, “Well, thank God for Florida and Mississippi.” If she were alive to read the new Bum Steer Awards in Texas Monthly, she’d probably say, “Well shit. We passed them up!”
Chimpmunk Fun
I have the opportunity to hunt chipmunk in Wisconsin this June.
I’m gonna take it.
You only live once and I don’t know of anyone here in Texas who has one in their trophy room.
How should I mount it if I’m successful?
What Amazon Thinks
Here’s what Amazon’s AI has to say about my books…
Tiger Tales from the Acuña Cartel: Jett Turner Misadventures, Book 1
What’s it about?
Jett Turner's peaceful retirement turns chaotic when he gets involved with a cartel boss, dealing with tigers, explosions, and bizarre characters in this darkly comedic adventure.
Panda Jelly Served at the Acuña Cartel: Jett Turner Misadventures, Book 2
What’s it about?
Jett Turner faces absurd misadventures involving cartel boss El Tigre, including animal activists, DEA agents, and a bizarre Daniel in the Lion's Den incident. Book 2 in series, best read after Book 1.
That about sums it up.
Get both on Amazon.
Email Gayne!
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