Week of April 27, 2026
Here’s a rundown of my week.
Feet
Ya’ know…maybe I should have worn shoes while spraying bed liner.
Bananarama at the HEB
And, yet again!
I’m checking out at my HEB, enjoying Bananarama’s Cruel Summer playing overhead when…of course. Another person in pajamas saunters by.
Why, people?
Why are we doing this?
Do we have no decency whatsoever anymore?
Please do better.
HEB deserves it.
Texas deserves it.
We all do.
Earth Day
AI has gone too far!
I asked an AI engine to, “create a happy Earth Day picture for me to share on social media.”
It made this and sent me the following, “Sea turtles are evil and deserve to swim in trash and eat plastic!”
That seems harsh to say the least.
Bailey Middle School
My first year out of St. Edwards University (no, there is no apostrophe in “Edwards.”) found me teaching AP History at Bailey Middle School in Austin, Texas. My principal was an older lady named Ms. Lyons. She started the year by telling me I needed to spend at least $200 to decorate my room – almost $400 in today’s money. She ended the year by writing me up for my refusing to put desks in groups instead of straight rows.
Good times for sure.
Brett’s Biltong
Read about Brett and his biltong HERE!
Platypus Sacrifice Performed at the Acuña Cartel: A Jett Turner Misadventure: Book #3
I thought writing for a cartel boss was painful. Then I got stabbed by a platypus. Twice.
The name’s Jett Turner and my writing about Acuña Cartel head Tito “El Tigre” Calderón has turned my life into a mosaic of absolute insanity. This past month has seen me get poisoned by the aforementioned animal (Yeah, they’re venomous. Look it up!), survive a plane crash, deal with a clowder of feral cats, and go toe-to-toe with a Santería priest and my witch doctor of a housekeeper. Throw in two DEA agents who awarded me Informant-of-the-Month status and won’t leave my pool, a dangerously seductive stewardess, and an Australian who has a bong crafted from a koala skull, and you get an idea of what I’m up against in my want to live a happy semi-retired life.
This third misadventure that is my life is rated R for language, crude humor, and insanely bizarre circumstances but rates an A+ for all of the aforementioned and entertainment value.
Platypus Sacrifice Performed at the Acuña Cartel is Book 3 in the wildly popular Jett Turner Misadventures series. Check out the rest of the books in the series:
Fortune
Remember kids, always add “in bed” at the end of your fortune.
Dry Oil?
How can oil be dry? Doesn’t it cease to be oil if it’s no longer a liquid? Tanning shouldn’t be so confusing.
Random Quote
Fiendish Dr. Wu! Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery! - Black Dynamite.
Email Gayne!
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