Week of April 27, 2026
Here’s a rundown of my week.
Ranger Loves It!
Platypus Sacrifice Performed at the Acuña Cartel: A Jett Turner Misadventure: Book #3
I thought writing for a cartel boss was painful. Then I got stabbed by a platypus. Twice.
The name’s Jett Turner and my writing about Acuña Cartel head Tito “El Tigre” Calderón has turned my life into a mosaic of absolute insanity. This past month has seen me get poisoned by the aforementioned animal (Yeah, they’re venomous. Look it up!), survive a plane crash, deal with a clowder of feral cats, and go toe-to-toe with a Santería priest and my witch doctor of a housekeeper. Throw in two DEA agents who awarded me Informant-of-the-Month status and won’t leave my pool, a dangerously seductive stewardess, and an Australian who has a bong crafted from a koala skull, and you get an idea of what I’m up against in my want to live a happy semi-retired life.
This third misadventure that is my life is rated R for language, crude humor, and insanely bizarre circumstances but rates an A+ for all of the aforementioned and entertainment value.
Platypus Sacrifice Performed at the Acuña Cartel is Book 3 in the wildly popular Jett Turner Misadventures series. Check out the rest of the books in the series:
Book 1: Tiger Tales from the Acuña Cartel
Book 2: Panda Jelly Served at the Acuña Cartel
Auto Repair
Saw this in San Antonio.
Bravo, good sir.
Well done.
True craftsmanship.
Conceal Carry
My conceal carry is my Colt .45 with a 12 inch barrel.
Ok.
It’s not really.
But I do love shooting it.
Hey, that kid looks just like me.
Travel Writers
Probably. I’ll let y’all know.
Warlords of Atlantis
Warlords of Atlantis stars B-movie royalty Doug McClure, a killer octopus, Lea Brodie, and Lea Brodie’s very impressive cleavage. I first saw Warlords as a kid at the Greenspoint Mall in Houston, Texas and loved it. I watched it the other night on Tubi and…didn’t love it so much. The movie follows Doug and the guy who played Cliff on Cheers as they are captured by some misplaced aliens from Atlantis who live in an underwater cave with a bunch of white trash stranded sailors and some rubber monster puppets. The movie ends with Doug and that Cliff guy getting away but with Lea Brodie and Lea Brodie’s very impressive cleavage having to stay behind in the cave.
Yeah, life sucks.
The movie’s not really that good but is entertaining enough if you have a 12 pack handy.
The Elderly & AI
I laughed out loud when I saw this at the checkout at HEB. Are seniors really making friends with AI?
My Feet
No more nasty feet from spraying bed liner on my boat. Yes, I’m a genius.
40 Oz
This seems kind of disrespectful to the 40oz community.
Ultra?
In a 40?
Were there hommies crying out for this?
Who knows?
Email Gayne!
I love hearing from people who read my work and I answer every email I get. You can do that by clicking that little image of an envelope below.
Like what you see? Want to keep the adventure going? Fire a PayPal or Venmo in my direction & you may get a shout out! Hot Tip: Include blog idea in the description…
