Week of January 26, 2026
Here’s a rundown of my week.
The Smashing Machine
“The Smashing Machine” stars Emily Blunt and her cleavage as the crazy girlfriend turned wife of an MMA fighter played by The Rock. Emily supports her man by being insane and threatening to commit suicide days before his biggest fight. It’s during this fight and the others in the movie that The Rock gets pummeled to very eclectic jazz music. Also, The Rock gets hooked on opioids then goes off of them while Emily wears super tight clothes and push-up bra after push-up bra.
All in all, “The Smashing Machine” is a great kids movie that will for sure appeal to fans of “Jungle Cruise” and “Mary Poppins Returns.”
Check it out.
Ricky and the Metal Church
I lived down the hall from a guy named Ricky in the dorm at Lon Morris College. He was studying to be a Methodist minister, and his desire was to someday open a Metal Church. “It’s like a place where you can worship Christ but still rock the hell out.”
Ok.
One day he and his roommate John needed an extension cord so they could move their stereo across the room. They didn’t have one. But they did have a metal coat hanger and some scissors. They cut the stereo’s power cord in half and wired it to a length of hanger that they had formed into a strait piece of metal. They plugged it in. Sparks flew from the socket, and the dorm’s electricity flickered twice then died. The stereo was ruined.
Yeah.
Who saw that coming?
I’m not sure if Ricky ever built his Metal Church or not but if he did, I really hope he hired an electrician.
This serves as another story from my life and as the answer to the question, “Gayne, how do you come up with such weird stuff for your books?”
COMING SOON
I thought writing for a cartel boss was painful. Then I got stabbed by a platypus. Twice.
The name’s Jett Turner and my writing about Acuña Cartel head Tito “El Tigre” Calderón has turned my life into a mosaic of absolute insanity. This past month has seen me get poisoned by the aforementioned animal (Yeah, they’re venomous. Look it up!), survive a plane crash, deal with a clowder of feral cats, and go toe-to-toe with a Santería priest and my witch doctor of a housekeeper. Throw in two DEA agents who awarded me Informant-of-the-Month status and won’t leave my pool, a dangerously seductive stewardess, and an Australian who has a bong crafted from a koala skull, and you get an idea of what I’m up against in my want to live a happy semi-retired life.
This third misadventure that is my life is rated R for language, crude humor, and insanely bizarre circumstances but rates an A+ for all of the aforementioned and entertainment value.
Platypus Sacrifice Performed at the Acuña Cartel is Book 3 in the wildly popular Jett Turner Misadventures series. Check out the rest of the books in the series:
Random Quote
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.- Lyndon B. Johnson
What Amazon Thinks
Here’s what Amazon’s AI has to say about my books…
Tiger Tales from the Acuña Cartel: Jett Turner Misadventures, Book 1
What’s it about?
Jett Turner's peaceful retirement turns chaotic when he gets involved with a cartel boss, dealing with tigers, explosions, and bizarre characters in this darkly comedic adventure.
Panda Jelly Served at the Acuña Cartel: Jett Turner Misadventures, Book 2
What’s it about?
Jett Turner faces absurd misadventures involving cartel boss El Tigre, including animal activists, DEA agents, and a bizarre Daniel in the Lion's Den incident. Book 2 in series, best read after Book 1.
That about sums it up.
Get both on Amazon.
Red Tetralogy
Red Tetralogy: Red Frontier Books 1 – 4 is now available at Amazon!
Four complete books with over 700 pages of non-stop action / adventure.
Reviewers had these words for Red Frontier Books 1-4:
“A bloody fun tale of extra-planetary death and mayhem. I loved every minute of it!”
“A hell of a fun thrill ride from start to finish.”
“If you love action-packed slobber-knockers and nasty critters, then you’ll seriously dig Red Frontier!”
“A blend of sci-fi, action thriller and age-old quest for justice makes for a page-turning yarn full of brawling and battles. Warning: not for the squeamish!”
Join Jack Taylor as he fights his way across the Red Frontier of Mars in one thrilling adventure after the other.
Email Gayne!
I love hearing from people who read my work and I answer every email I get. You can do that by clicking that little image of an envelope below.
Like what you see? Want to keep the adventure going? Fire a PayPal or Venmo in my direction & you may get a shout out! Hot Tip: Include blog idea in the description…
