Week of March 30, 2026
Here’s a rundown of my week.
I Dated Xena…Kind’a
I once dated a gal in college, who was a huge Xena: Warrior Princess fan. This girlfriend got really trashed one night and ordered a replica of Xena’s sword from QVC or something. She confessed such two months later. She said she in no way had the money for the sword but really wanted to “at least hold it.” She later admitted that when the sword came, she took it out of the box and “swung it around a few times while pretending to be Xena in the mirror” before sending it back.
Too Much Confusion
Remember kids, pineapples aren’t mammals.
They don’t lay eggs.
I Have Fans Everywhere
Welcome to the insanity that is my life.
The name’s Jett Turner and my early retirement to a lake on the Texas – Mexico Border was supposed to be fun and easy going. It didn’t involve me writing up the twisted exploits of the head of the Acuña Cartel, reporting such to the DEA, or watching pandas blow up, people being fed to tigers, or learning about the bodily functions of the tortured. In addition, I have to deal with a morbidly obese shut in, a woman hell bent on collecting the last of my student loans, a hairless chimp named Patty, a giant named Koko, a housekeeper set on cleansing my soul, and a sexual deviant, Larry McMurtry quoting professor. Toss in a beautiful call girl named Laredo Rose, a cheerleader of a waitress with her jaw wired shut, and a traitor of a dog that listens to everyone but me and you get an idea of what I have to deal with on a daily basis.
This first misadventure that is my life is rated R for language, crude humor, and insanely bizarre circumstances but rates an A+ for all of the aforementioned and entertainment value.
NOPE!
PLEASE NOTE that I did not write this book nor do I have anything to do with it. This despite it sometimes popping up on Amazon under a search of “Gayne Young.” I have plenty of books on Amazon.
This ain’t one of them.
Thank you for your time.
Fall of the Lost City
I entered a Land of the Lost writing contest a few years back.
I was told my entry was too violent.
No Fun!
I hired a driver to ferry my son and me from Blue Bayou Guatemala’s lodge in Iztapa to Lake Atitlán. He was nice enough to pack a cooler of beer for the trip. He did not like my question about what to do with the empty beer cans.
Oh well.
Email Gayne!
I love hearing from people who read my work and I answer every email I get. You can do that by clicking that little image of an envelope below.
Like what you see? Want to keep the adventure going? Fire a PayPal or Venmo in my direction & you may get a shout out! Hot Tip: Include blog idea in the description…
