Week of August 31, 2026

Here’s a rundown of my week.

Platypus Sacrifice

Platypus Sacrifice Performed at the Acuña Cartel: A Jett Turner Misadventure: Book #3

I thought writing for a cartel boss was painful. Then I got stabbed by a platypus. Twice.
The name’s Jett Turner and my writing about Acuña Cartel head Tito “El Tigre” Calderón has turned my life into a mosaic of absolute insanity. This past month has seen me get poisoned by the aforementioned animal (Yeah, they’re venomous. Look it up!), survive a plane crash, deal with a clowder of feral cats, and go toe-to-toe with a Santería priest and my witch doctor of a housekeeper. Throw in two DEA agents who awarded me Informant-of-the-Month status and won’t leave my pool, a dangerously seductive stewardess, and an Australian who has a bong crafted from a koala skull, and you get an idea of what I’m up against in my want to live a happy semi-retired life.

This third misadventure that is my life is rated R for language, crude humor, and insanely bizarre circumstances but rates an A+ for all of the aforementioned and entertainment value.

Special Thanks

Thanks to four-time gold medallist Greg Louganis for cheering me on during my mile swim today. Seeing you at the Wellness Center in little ol’ Fredericksburg, Texas was quite the shock. Still, I appreciated the support. And to answer your questions, no, I don’t like Pez Candy and pelicans are my least favorite bird. Thanks again.

Spammers No Longer Even Trying

This spammer flat out didn’t care.

He / she / it got not one thing right.

Try harder, spammers!

Free AI Prompt

A free AI prompt from a semi-famous writer. Feel free to use and share the results. — Create a romantic movie short about Sam and Alice from The Brady Bunch that is more late 1980’s Cinemax than it is Hallmark Channel.

Field Ethos

Click the above pic or HERE to read my latest for Field Ethos.

And…

Special thanks to Robert Deis of MensPulpMags.com for his assistance in researching this piece.

Is Gayne Successful?

I think AI and I have very different ideas of what “successful” means.

Free AI Prompt #2

A free AI prompt from a semi-famous writer. Feel free to use and share the results. — Create a short movie that features Nell Carter from Gimmie a Break with lots and lots of mice. Live mice.

I Wonder…

I always wonder how many people are buying these coveralls for painting, and how many are buying them to dispose of a body.

300

Almost 300 reviews!

Help me hit that number.

Drop your review today!

Tiger Tales from the Acuña Cartel : A Jett Turner Misadventure: Book #1

Welcome to the insanity that is my life.

The name’s Jett Turner and my early retirement to a lake on the Texas – Mexico Border was supposed to be fun and easy going. It didn’t involve me writing up the twisted exploits of the head of the Acuña Cartel, reporting such to the DEA, or watching pandas blow up, people being fed to tigers, or learning about the bodily functions of the tortured. In addition, I have to deal with a morbidly obese shut in, a woman hell bent on collecting the last of my student loans, a hairless chimp named Patty, a giant named Koko, a housekeeper set on cleansing my soul, and a sexual deviant, Larry McMurtry quoting professor. Toss in a beautiful call girl named Laredo Rose, a cheerleader of a waitress with her jaw wired shut, and a traitor of a dog that listens to everyone but me and you get an idea of what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

This first misadventure that is my life is rated R for language, crude humor, and insanely bizarre circumstances but rates an A+ for all of the aforementioned and entertainment value.

Random Book Video

I make these.

they’re supposed to help me sell books.

This one is promoting Tiger Tales from the Acuña Cartel: A Jett Turner Misadventure, Book 1.

Check it out.

PLEASE…

PLEASE…
Follow me on Amazon.
Doing such helps me more than following me on social media or clicking on my website.
Following me on Amazon not only gets you information on when my latest book drops but drives that algorithm thing in my favor.
Trust me. It helps.
To FOLLOW ME, go to my page on Amazon, then click that +FOLLOW Button.
That’s it.
Thanks!

Email Gayne!

I love hearing from people who read my work and I answer every email I get. You can do that by clicking that little image of an envelope below.

Like what you see? Want to keep the adventure going? Fire a PayPal or Venmo in my direction & you may get a shout out! Hot Tip: Include blog idea in the description…